Quarterlife Conundrum: A Beginning
A few days ago I sat upon a couch, not too dissimilar from the one on which I am currently planted, and my mind wandered. I thought of many things - trees and houses, tree houses, dollhouses, Dollhouse and how I’d never seen it but knew it was a failure, tree dollhouses, how a tree dollhouse could actually work… like, would it be a small tree with tiny house or would it be a regular tree with a tiny house? Or does your dollhouse have a tree in the front yard and in that tree there’s a little wooden tree house with little tiny tree house furniture?
In case you’re as curious as I was, I’ve done a Google image search. No such thing as a tree dollhouse - there could be a whole untapped market here people - but I did find a picture of this woman:
Her name is Jacqui but she goes by Jax which didn’t help me figure out which side of the androgyny fence she falls on. I settled with woman. Anyway, she makes miniature trees like this one:
Which isn’t very exciting. So moving on.
My mind eventually wandered away from tree dollhouses and I found myself thinking about my life. I do that often. It’s terrifying.
See, when you realize that an unhealthy portion of your hopes and dreams are in the beginning stages of the burial process at an early age, you start to wonder just how the fuck they got there in the first place. At what point in the life-decision making process did this happen? And then you reflect. And then you immediately stop reflecting because you realize “Oh, shit, I’ve been fucking up since day one. How have I managed to be functional for this long?”
And then you think “Hey, I’m only 25 and I’ve got my whole life ahead of me! I can fix this!” But as you look forward, the big open slate in front of you becomes rather intimidating, the options overwhelm you, and then you end up back in the present, sitting on the couch, and you realize that you’ve totally missed the last 20 minutes of this Golden Girls episode that you’d been watching and now you’re going to have to rewind it.
I’ve labeled this my Quarterlife Conundrum. It’s not a crisis because, holy shit, that’s urgent. Plus, it doesn’t require a convertible or a crack rock. It feels more open-ended, like the slate of my life is so vast and open yet I have no idea what direction I want to take it. So it’s a conundrum - a puzzle that can be solved in any number of ways.
And all of this thinking has brought me here, back to blogging, where I intend to share my experience solving my Quarterlife Conundrum. The whole experience -from the memes that amuse me to the stories of my past to the big life decisions that I’m currently making. Maybe somewhere along the way I’ll find the pieces I need to complete the puzzle.
You know, so that I can hurry up and get on with my mid-life crisis in 15 years…
